The other day at work, when I went to use the bathroom, I noticed something interesting. It was something that I had seen for years but had never taken time to stop and think about it. After all, not too many people have deep insights in a bathroom. For the men, I am sure you too have all seen what I am about to describe and many have even experienced it for yourselves. For you ladies, let me paint the picture of what a men’s bathroom looks like.
In a men’s bathroom there are usually at least two urinals and almost without fail, one of those two urinals is shorter than the other. So one is for taller people and one is for shorter people. If you are short, you pee at the short urinal, and if you are tall, you pee at the tall urinal. It is the same with most drinking fountains, there is almost always one that is higher up than the other. But one thing about men is that they are too prideful to ever use to lower of the two urinals. They may be shorter than 5’2” but in their minds, they are tall enough for the big boy’s urinal. I on the other hand and 6’2” and it can be quite annoying having to use the short man’s toilet. But for some reason, no matter how short you are, if both urinals are open, you will use the tall man’s urinal. I guess it is a matter of pride and for those 30 seconds of peeing, you fill as tall as LeBron or Jordan. Too often a man much shorter than me will walk into the bathroom and will take the taller of the two toilets, forcing me to bend my knees to ensure I get my pee where it belongs.
So when I saw what I saw the other day, I was shocked. A man, maybe about 5’6”, a man who society would consider “short” or “below average” actually walked straight to the shorter urinal and did so without hesitation. It was as if he said to himself and everyone else, “I accept who I am and I am going to pee where I feel most comfortable.” I waited until he was done with his bathroom duties and carried him out on my shoulders for being such a hero and a symbol of confidence. Actually, I instead got to thinking about sports. How many times do we see players or teams trying to be something they are not? They are peeing at the tall man’s toilet when in reality, they need to be peeing in a toilet more appropriate for their height. For example, Tim Tebow. I do not have anything against him, I think he is a good football player and a great person, but we are kidding ourselves if we think he can actually be a successful starting quarterback in the NFL. Maybe his true calling is to be a tight end or full back, but a quarterback? I think time will prove that he is just trying to pee at a urinal too tall for him. But I could be wrong.
But I am not going to write an entire article about why Tim Tebow will not succeed; instead, I’d like to focus on the positive. There have been two teams who most people thought belonged at the shorter urinal and instead proudly peed from the adult toilet. Yesterday, the final day of the baseball season, I decided it would be a good time to look back on various preseason predictions made by some of the brightest minds in baseball. Almost every baseball writer had both the Orioles and A’s in last place in the AL East and West respectively. I could not find a single writer who picked either of them to be in the playoffs. No one even mentioned them as a possible “surprise” or “dark horse” team. Nope, instead they were chosen to be in last or second to last by nearly every single writer. Everyone said in essence, “you’re too short to use the adult toilet and at no point will be tall enough.” As the season went on and those two teams started to become a part of the possible playoff picture, everyone said that it was only a matter of time before they hit a wall and fell back to reality. Sadly, that is what happened with the Pittsburgh Pirates. They too were in the playoff picture as recently as a month ago, but as the calendar turned to September, they could not buy a win and soon went into free fall from their playoff dreams.
So now that both Baltimore and Oakland have made the playoffs, will either of them keep the run going? It is possible that the Orioles first playoff trip in 15 years is over in one game and although they made the playoffs, they may not get a chance to play an entire series. But Oakland, who at one point was 13 games behind Texas and was 5 games back with 9 games to go, miraculously swept the Rangers to win the AL West. I think most people would still say that the Orioles will be out of the playoffs after one game and the A’s will lose in the first round to the Tigers. With so many strange things happening this season, predicting what will happen this postseason will not be easy but I’ll give it a shot.
It all comes down to one person, Kris Medlen. The Braves have won his last 13 starts and in the month of August he had an ERA of .050 and in September an ERA of 1.26. He has been the best pitcher in the National League since July and will be the reason the Braves beat the Cardinals at home.
American League: Orioles vs. Rangers
Texas has only won 3 of their last 10 games including losing their last 3. The Orioles are one of the biggest surprises of the season. Texas looked to be on the right path to their third straight World Series before running into the A’s. I would not be surprised if either of these teams were to win tomorrow. But the Rangers have Darvish pitching and are at home, which leads me to believe that they will make it to the divisional series and knock off the Cinderella Orioles before they have had a chance to play a full series. The O’s are back in the playoffs, but not for long.
DIVSIONAL SERIES
National League
Giants vs. Reds
I don’t know how much this has been talked about this year, but for whatever reason, the lower seed in the divisional series will play the first two games at home and the higher seed will play the final three at their home. What the? I have no idea who came up with this brilliant plan, but I think in this series it will hurt the Reds. AT&T is not an easy ballpark to play in and to have to go on the road against both Cain and Bumgarner, I think the Reds are in trouble. The Giants will win those first two games and put the Reds into an elimination situation. I think the Reds will get one win at home, but the Giants will finish them off in 4 games.
Braves vs. Nationals
No Strasburg, No Problem. That’s all that needs to be said. Gio Gonzalez and Jordan Zimmerman will pitch well enough in Atlanta and having to use Kris Medlen in the Wild Card game will put the Braves at a disadvantage. The Nationals will be tested, but will knock off their divisional rivals.
American League
A’s vs. Tigers
Miguel Cabrera has won the first triple crown in 45 years and will likely win this season’s MVP. The combination of Cabrera, last season’s MVP and Cy Young winner Justin Verlander and Prince Fielder who is having a great season himself, makes the Tigers an easy pick to move past the A’s. But just like I cannot explain how the A’s won their division, I cannot explain how they will beat Detroit, but I’ve got a feeling that they will.
Rangers vs. Yankees
What an exciting divisional series this will be. I would be shocked if it did not go 5 games. The Yanks have at times looked unbeatable and at other times, they’ve looked average. They gave up a 10 game lead in their division and were for the last few weeks of the season tied off and on with the Orioles for first. But wait, isn’t that almost exactly what happened to the Rangers. They gave up a 13 game lead to the A’s, but unlike the Yankees, they could not hold off them off and eventually lost their division. To me, this series is a tossup, so I will look at their most recent season series, which is not good logic, but who cares. The Yankees beat the Rangers in 3 of the 4 games they played, so to follow suit, I’ve got to pick the Yanks.
CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES
National League
First time a baseball team from DC has been to the post season since 1933. It has been a special season for the Nationals. Both of these teams have had such great seasons because of the pitching staff. The Giants struggle to put runs on the board, and I think this will hurt them. The Nationals have solid hitting and should be able to score quickly, putting the Giants in a hole, which they will struggle to recover from. I saw these teams play this season in San Francisco, and maybe I chose a bad game to attend, but the Nationals won 14-2. One game cannot predict a payoff series, but still, Nats to the World Series.
American League
A’s vs. Yankees
Again, I have no rhyme or reason for my pick here, but again, I am picking the A’s. Call me an idiot because I probably am, but I just have to pick Oakland. The last two seasons the winner of the World Series came into the playoffs hotter than anyone else and I think the A’s are this seasons Giants or Cardinals. They’re on their way to a World Series. Someone better call Brad Pitt and see if he is available for another movie.
WORLD SERIES
A’s vs. Nationals
The A’s last won a World Series in 1989 and the Nationals have never been to the postseason as the Nationals. If these two teams make it to the World Series, it would be as unpredictable of a World Series as I can remember. Honestly, I would be shocked myself if this actually was the World Series, but stranger things have happened… or have they? Nothing comes to my mind right now. Maybe the Rockies vs. Red Sox in 2007 or the Rays vs. Phillies in 2008, but I think this would top either of those. Although it would be quite the story to have the A’s bring a title back to Oakland, I just do see it happening. The Nationals will win the 2012 World Series. But I still think the A’s have earned their spot at the tall urinal.
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